Has your Human Design experiment brought you to your knees yet?
It’s been 2 years for me and I can finally feel the shattering that Ra always talked about. I carried so much resistance to it. The idea of it seemed so violent, so cruel.
I’ve come to see that it’s in direct proportion to the resistance I’ve built up. I have a degree in psychology, I’ve worked in the field for 30 years.
When I studied not-self mind mapping, I naively and arrogantly thought I’d be able to think my way through it. I could not have been more wrong.
Some strained relationships turned out to be one too many straws for the camel to bear. I had my come-to-Jesus moment lying in the bath, held by the salt water, and my heart finally opened.
I just let go.
I let go of trying to be in control.
I let go of needing the answers.
I let go of the illusion that I know what will make me happy.
It was a shattering that was a long time coming…the miniature cracks that slowly but surely change the integrity of the container. Everything I thought that was holding me together just wasn’t reliable any more.
I still don’t have the answers and my mind really wants the security of having them. But, I also see that mental decisions have never, never made me happy.
The only ones I’ve trusted have come from deep within. When my personality has been in service to my soul. When my heart has led the way. When I have been open to love.
I may have many more bathtub baptisms in my future—my mind is tenacious, after all. But, I know that each cleansing brings me closer to shining as the unique light I came here to be.
I’ve been working on a new product. I created a beautiful map of the not-self mind. I believe in it, I’m proud of it. But, I haven’t had energy to launch it. Now, I realize why.
It isn’t just the mental awareness, it’s also the tools that help you deal with the fall-out. A shattering is all fine and good, but if you’re walking on broken glass, you won’t get far.
I can tell I’m on to something because I feel the stirring inside me. I’m getting glimmers and ideas of some coaching and spiritual tools that can be helpful.
Stay tuned and stay in your light.