I've been living my experiment nearly 3 years now and I keep bumping up against what counts as initiation for Generators. Whether you're a pure Generator or a Manifesting Generator, everything is supposed to be in response. We're told that life will come to us, always.
It sounds too good to be true, that we can just relax and receive what is presented to us. I almost can't take in how lucky that feels.
But then, all throughout analyst training, I kept bumping up against what is the initiating that we're so cautioned against? Even MG's who have the coveted manifesting Throat are supposed to respond first.
Take something simple like asking a friend to tea.
I heard instruction about how Sacral/energy beings (Generators, Manifesting Generators, and Manifestors) are supposed to start the conversation with a non-Sacral/energy being (Projectors, Reflectors). And then, the non-energy being would ask the Generator in return.
That sounded plausible, but the first approach felt like initiating...a mental decision to start the conversation. Plus, there are mental gymnastics if you're a non-energy being in that you're mum until someone asks you somewhere. That contradicts how the Environment Variable functions.
I've heard that Manifestors are the only ones who are really supposed to initiate anything.
That sounds like way too much pressure on such a small % of the population.
I've heard of radical experiments where Generators won't even talk until someone else asks them something.
I can kind of get that for maybe a week or so when you're first trying to figure out what response even feels like in your body. But good grief, try getting by with that in your day-to-day life.
THEN, I finally came across a fully-fleshed example that was so helpful to me and alleviated so much of the mind noise.
I'm going deeper into RaveBiology and am exploring Ra's lecture on codon mapping. I was so delighted to come across this. I cleaned it up a touch for ease of reading. I underlined the passages that were key for me.
"If you're a Generator–70% of the planet–you often hear a phrase that says, 'Don’t initiate.' That gets universally translated into every aspect of your life. This is nonsense; please understand that. This is not what it’s about.
"Imagine you have two Generators together, and one says to the other one, 'I'm really hungry, let’s go out for dinner. Would you like to?' And the other one goes,'Ah ha.'
"Now, one Generator has been allowed to make an authoritative decision; they’ve been asked and they’ve responded. The one who responds has to then turn around and say, 'And you? Do you really want to go?'
"[The one who originally asked the question will respond]'Uh uh.' Nine times out of 10!
"There's this incredible vanity about human beings that they think that they're in charge of what they think and say and do. They're not. Stuff moves through, all the time. Generators’ minds, like anybody else’s minds, full of all kinds of stuff. What they think they should do, or could do, or might do. They start conversations. They do all these things.
"My eldest son, Loki, he's a Generator and he's very social. We were living in a house where we had very odd wiring and there was only one telephone so he would have to come into my studio and ask me if he could use the phone. I would say,'Ok. But it’s always better when they call you.' He knows this stuff. Then, he’d make a call or try to find a friend to play with and there’d be no answer or the kid wasn’t there and he’d be very frustrated. And I’d say, 'See?'
"One day he walks into my studio and says to me,'I have some birth data for you,' and he gives me the birth data of his best friend. So, I do the chart and his best friend’s a Generator. And Loki says to me, 'It’s just what I thought. Now I've really got a problem. If I don’t call him and he doesn’t call me, we’re never going to be friends...' Out of the mouths of babes! Real wisdom!
"You really have to understand this as a Generator; it’s not about not starting a conversation. It’s not about any of that. It’s about making your decisions in response. And the fact that you may initiate something–'Would you like to do this?'–you have to recognize yourself that in doing that, that’s not a decision. That’s just stuff. Until a decision is reached, until you have an opportunity to respond, it’s not going to work. Which means that if you're a Generator and you're dealing with others, you have to know that that’s the way you work.
"They already do, by the way, and it often annoys them! 'Well, you said you were hungry. You asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner. How come you don’t want to go now?' It happens all the time. It works terribly the other way: 'Would you like to go out to the movies?' 'Uh uh. 'Oh, you b****.'
"How do you know you even wanted to go to the movies when you asked her? And there you are jumping on her because she goes, 'Uh uh.'
"The point is decision-making. Nothing else. I've heard examples of Generators who hear this and decide they're going to spend the rest of their life incommunicado!
"If you're a Generator that’s what you do. You generate. Everything. All the mental drivel. (Some good things too!) It’s all just there. It’s all passing through. We have such a mind trip. It’s so difficult for anyone to be able to really discover themselves until they discover how tricky their minds are. How their minds are truly the enemy. Your mind wants to run your life, and it doesn’t know how to make a reliable decision.
"Let alone the half of you that have an open Ajna center who shouldn’t even, in the remotest moments, listen to your mind when it’s telling you what to do. Because it’s telling you what somebody else would do, not telling you what you should do. It’s nothing to do with you. It’s not you making a decision. Mental decisions don’t mean anything. They mean trouble, actually. The only thing that works is when you honor your strategy, whatever it is.
"But remember the strategy only operates when it comes to decisions. Not anything else."
I realize that I was taking the concept too far. I was using design as another way to put pressure on myself. I thought being the first one to ask was a decision. When instead, it's just the noise moving through and my actual decision won't come until I'm asked.
I really like how Jenna Zoe talks about it...that our Strategy (to respond) has to do with external things, with how we act in the world when others are involved. When it's just for you (things like working on your business, your art, your creativity, your you-time), you follow your impulses. It feels so much more free to not be tangled up in my head over who asked who first.
The Sacral isn't aware. It has intelligence, in a sense, but it isn't your Cognition. It's telling you what you're available to respond to...nothing else. And, there is a very specific theme of response depending on your channel(s) and gate(s).
So, give yourself a break. We're bombarded with so much noise and pressure and stress. The last thing we need is to feel like we're failing at living our experiment. Don't let rules about who should ask whom first stop you from living your life. Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to not be perfect at this. See how it feels to let your energy lead the way. It's always there for you, just waiting for you to listen. Respond, baby, just respond.
Shine on,
Jenn.