This recent blood moon was—excuse my bluntness—a b*tch.
We were at cross-quarter days on Monday the 7th, which means the veil between worlds was at its thinnest. Energies are already intense and focused and concentrated this time of year. The lunar eclipse added what felt like dynamite to it. Except, it felt like an implosion rather than an explosion.
I’m fortunate enough to have been in circle with Danielle Dulsky for the past 3 years. She’s an extraordinary leader of an embodied craft, giving you exactly the medicine you need for what you’re going through.
In last week’s gathering, she prepared us with a ritual that could take us through the 5 days of peak energetic intensity. I did the work and I buckled up for the ride.
On Monday, the day of cross-quarters, I felt antsy, like gritting my teeth. It was like I was plugged into a socket and I was being fried. As wired as I felt, I also felt exhausted.
On Tuesday, the day of the blood moon and lunar eclipse, I found myself yearning for distraction. Everything felt like too much.
On Wednesday, I was on auto-pilot. All I wanted to do was go within and be quiet. Everything felt like a struggle.
On Thursday, I couldn’t stop crying. It was like toxins were being released from my system.
Today, the final and 5th day, it finally feels like it’s starting to wane. It still feels heavy. And sad, really sad. But, I also detect a tiny glimmer of hope.
The practice Danielle guided us to centered around tracking messages in this liminal space. It was about tapping into the core of the energetic frequency and extracting a message, like opening a window into the cocoon. I found that those messages were anchors to keep me tethered to myself, to help me trust the process as it unfolded.
I also saw some flags. I’ve had a recurring issue in a relationship that hasn’t fully healed (yet). I dreamed about it for 5 days. I still don’t have the answer, but I’m learning that sitting with the pain is just as important as trying to do something about it. Sometimes, you just need to feel it with compassion. Inner child work was really helpful here.
I had two contacts scheduled for this week that I was looking forward to, and both of them flaked—two days in a row. I wondered how much of it was me vs. the other person. Was this a coincidence, or was something in my energies pushing them away? It made me realize how deeply I’m yearning for authentic connection and how many of the relationships in my life don’t match that. I also noticed how much I try to force outdated patterns to fit what I really want. I spend a lot of time in futile and frustrated hope.
I’ve also noticed that other void times in my life have been related to Pluto in my Human Design chart. They both sit in gate 46 for me, which relates, among other things, to the body. The majority of the crises I’ve gone through have been related to accepting my physical form. Pluto shows you your great truth. If you’re willing to face it, it leads to your transformation. That transformation isn’t all butterflies and rainbows. It’s more akin to a phoenix—it’s what arises from the ashes.
This certainly feels like a void time now. The seasons are changing, the veil is thin, the energies are close, the dead are even closer. Everything is under pressure. Will it focus and produce a shining diamond, or will it crumble into dust?
I believe it’s important to feel your feelings. I can also tell, though, that I need a light to cling to; otherwise, I can spiral into despair (a particular challenge for Integration Generators).
I calmed myself and pulled oracle cards from Alana Fairchild’s Sacred Rebels deck. As with tarot, I never fail to be astounded and touched and humbled by how magical these processes are. I was given exactly the messages I needed to hear to help guide me through these changing and challenging times.
So, if you’ve made it this far, you’re probably wondering what is the point of all of this.
1: You’re not alone. If you’re sensing things are harder right now, they are. It’s ok. Feel what you need to feel. Take care of yourself.
2. Look to Pluto in your Human Design chart for clues as to how transformation may show up in your life.
3. Trust yourself and trust your tools. Whether it’s journaling, exercise, talking with a friend, or a spiritual practice—use the tools that help you get through it.
4. Pay attention. The Universe is always communicating with us. Even sadness is a message. Things falling apart is a message. So are things coming together.
5. Bring magic into your life wherever and whenever you can. We’re more than just bodies. We’re spirits in a body. Find the magic that touches your soul and make it your mission to elevate it. Make time and space for it in your life. Build a relationship with it. It’ll be there for you when you need it most.
Here’s to the void times that birth our new beginnings.
Shine on,
Jenn.