When you’re living outside your Design, life is endless hard work. It feels like such a slog, like things won’t get any easier. A few of the ways it can show up:
If your Heart/Ego is undefined, you can fall prey to thinking that you have to push that much harder, to prove yourself.
If your Solar Plexus is undefined, you can feel really scared to admit the truth, that things just aren’t right in your life.
If your G Center is undefined you can think that you have to find love and then everything else will be all right.
You can push and push and end up taxing your adrenals, or maybe even have to deal with thyroid issues if you’re trying to initiate and manifest when it isn’t your Design.
The mind is so sneaky and generates a never-ending list of reasons and options. You’ll run yourself ragged trying to keep up with it.
Underneath all of this is the fear that nothing will come our way, that we don’t deserve it, that we can’t hold it. It’s terrifying. And, it’s so hard to be patient. Waiting and trusting are the biggest challenges.
I’ve been in my experiment for a year now and I still go through this. As a Generator, I’m tempted to initiate, to just do something to move things along.
I have such a yearning for things to be easy, to live in flow. It’s difficult to accept that what I desire is actually right for me, that I don’t have to work so hard for it. The world would tell me I’m being lazy, that I have to go out there and make it happen. Get a side hustle, show how much I want it. Basically, to run myself right into the ground.
But, I’ve been paying attention. I’ve seen how magical it is when synchronicities start to appear. I’ve felt the rush of energy when my Sacral says yes. I’ve seen the effect I have on others when I’m lit up. I’ve witnessed the magic.
It sounds so trite, but it really is true—you have to be patient. Commit to your process. Find someone to talk to, someone who will support you and won’t judge. And, don’t judge yourself when it doesn’t go perfectly. That’s part of the process, too.
Maybe consider keeping a synchronicities journal. Train your mind to focus on what you want to call in, rather than training a microscope on what already doesn’t feel good. Magnify what you want more of in your life. Start small, really small. Don’t make this a big-stakes decision. Let it be simple. Do it a bunch of times so that you begin to build trust with your process.
Small steps begin the journey. It’s about your commitment and your compassionate witness.
Shine on,
Jenn.